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The Great Tech Massacre of 2024: A Totally-Not-Bitter Eulogy
Oh, gather ‘round, dear readers, as we pay our respects to the fallen soldiers of Silicon Valley’s ever-churning battlefield.
2024 wasn’t just another year in tech — it was a veritable funeral procession of gadgets, services, and dreams that bit the digital dust.
First up in our cemetery tour, pour one out for Fossil’s smartwatches. After years of trying to convince us that Wear OS would catch up to the Apple Watch any day now, Fossil finally threw in the towel. The Gen 6 will forever stand as their last attempt at strapping Google to our wrists. At least they can go back to making those nice analog watches that — you know — tell time without needing a daily charge.
Speaking of our favorite fruit company, Apple had quite the year of Marie Kondo-ing their product lineup. The blood oxygen sensor in their watches? It has gone faster than you can say “patent infringement.” Apple Pay Later? Apparently, “Later” meant “Never mind.” iTunes for Windows users were…
